Women Want Him, Men Want to Be Him

Apparently every citizen in Calgary is happy that Christmas came early, and SIDNEY CROSBY(!!!!!) IS GOING TO BE IN TOWN. Or something. Sure, it's cool, but we got our television now so most of us have actually seen Crosby play before. It's not like we're a talent-deprived team, we've got all kinds of hockey studs that are comparable to the Fernando Pisanis and Sidney Crosbys in the world. Let's take our own Marcus Nilson.


While Nilson's hockey prowess is well-known throughout the NHL as being slightly below that of Sidney Crosby, Crosby lacks the inherent marketability and personality of our Swedish stud. Leanne herself has had the above picture tiled across her various monitors as desktop backgrounds for over a year now. She describes his body as the pinnacle of human creation, proof that there is a God (and Nilson created him). In her words, Nilson has the "pecs of a Nordic chef, the biceps of a seasoned Golf player, and the butt of an Algonquin park ranger".

While Crosby dazzles us with amazing plays and 3-point 3rd periods against some of the most loaded teams in the NHL, Nilson warms our hearts and moistens the -- well, you get the picture. While the media (in particular, the Crosby-centric TSN) tells us to be excited about Crosby's visit to our quaint little village somewhere west of Toronto, the real question is what does Crosby think about playing against Nilson? I spent the entire day crawling teh intarwebs to find an article discussing how this is the first time Crosby had to face the Marcus Nilson on Marcus Nilson's own hallowed grounds, but to no avail. Everyone was so hypnotized by Crosby's hypetrain that the real stars and studs of our game -- the Fernando Pisanis and Marcus Nilsons of the world -- go unnoticed. I have full faith, however, that tonight Marcus Nilson's 3 shorthanded goals, 3 powerplay goals, and 3 even strength goals (hereafter the famed "Marcus Nilson Hattrick") will propel him to the top of the league, dethroning Crosby and warming the hearts of girls and confused men everywhere.

Long live Nilson!
9-0 Flames (Nilson, Nilson, Nilson, Nilson, Nilson, Nilson, Nilson, Nilson, Nilson)