Will Tilley become the next recession-proof headgear company?
Does anybody remember the days when both teams played the trap for 60 mins, then went for interviews?
Can I call Mike Komisarek "Rory Fitzpatrick" now?
Does Ovechkin twitter from the bench?
Why am I watching this?
When do the Habs run out of old hockey players?
It only took him at least three seasons and more than two hundred games, but in a game against the Blue Jackets, David Hale finally potted one.
So what's the over/under on how many games he takes till #2?
Really a bizarre night. No less than three hattricks... is that a hattrick of hattricks?
AKA: The Olympic sport I've ended up watching the most
Awwww, so many ways I could take this one. Where I wanted to go with this, however, was to not talk about skimpy swimsuits (Dear the Netherlands: You've FAILED!!), or predictable plays, or blasting Nickelback in the background.
I wanted to talk about the lovely, lovely sand.
It slows you down like no one's business: Ever wonder what it felt like to be Rhett Warrener, or Eriksson? (And very likely, Roy, and Chucko?) Go run around in an oversized sandbox all summer long.
It hurts less when you dive: Kind of makes me wonder why they haven't tried playing soccer on sand.
You can stick your head in it and hide: I've been doing this a bit with respect to Canada's current medal count. Go follow the excellent coverage Matt Fenwick has been providing over at Battle of Alberta. It's a finely honed skill, I admit, which I've worked on over the last couple of years of blogging. It's damn hard saying again and again that if they play a full 60 minutes, and if they show up, and if Kipper doesn't decide to leave partway for popcorn and nachos, that we'll be ok.
It gets you dirty: Heh. Next!
This series has been fantastically dead even. It's been great. The ups have sent us soaring, the downs have been lower than low. Being nervous and twitchy from school and the stresses of playoff time, I've decided I can't wait to see how this puppy gets decided, I'm taking things into my own hands.
We have here some of the players from each team. Phaneuf? Lombardi? Roenick?
 |  |
Not looking good.
I'm not convinced the Flames are entirely prepared for this next upcoming game. The opposition has been talking trash, and yeah, our guys might not be able to step up.
Mind you, they've all been retired for quite some time, and being all musicians, the opposition is famed for putting together words rather than action.
Will Lanny, Vernie, and the rest of the Flames (circa '89, plus a few guests) be able to take on a bunch of musicians? Who knows?
As for the real Flames, I am just going to consider yesterday's game an abomination, and maybe just leave it at that. Unfortunately, that seems to be their MO lately. I have a couple of theories, but nothing terribly conclusive.
Iggy, Iggy, Iggy: See, when Iggy gets close to a milestone, the team always falls apart. I'll point to when he was chasing Fleury's record for most goals scored by a Flame earlier this year. I'll point to any game where he's scored two goals, with time to spare. I don't know that it's Iginla specifically who encourages this, but the rest of the team has a tendency to pass up perfectly reasonable scoring chances in an effort to set it up. Now, it's lovely that they love him so much, but yeah... they need to be more selfish and just get 'er in.
Hungry? Too bad about too many cooks: The other thing is that the team is aging, slowly and surely. Dave, in the past weeks, has had heated debates with fans of other teams, where he has been able to promote as a real feature of the team that we have so many established veterans. Now, this is great in terms of leadership, blah, blah, but that means also that maybe there's conflicting messages out there in the dressing room.
Also, teams that are young are hungry. Teams that haven't been to the big show for some time are hungry. Teams that know they're more or less going to make it to the bonus round and who have done it for a while... not so hungry. One of the key drivers behind the Cup run in 2004 surely must have been hunger. And now, we're playing our fourth playoffs in a row(ish), the guys are older, and yeah... the league is full of youth right now. Hungry, eager youth who want to see what the playoffs are all about. 'Nuff said.
I am right now going to write off tomorrow night's game... not only does it matter, I wouldn't be surprised if our current trend continues. If weird things happen and we pair up with the Wild, however, we've just pooched ourselves by not going out and squashing them. We had a chance to send them a message about how the playoffs are gonna work, and muffed it.
Sigh.
So, I figure the geezers will beat the rockers tonight by a score of 13.6 to 9.79, and yeah. Don't hold your breath tomorrow.
Go Flames!
Anytime you and your brother want to go for a game in the 'Dome, feel free.
Actually, if it were up to me, you boys would never leave.
So we at Open Ice Hits are confounded by the absolute silence on all things trade deadline related. Through some investigative sleuthing, here's what we've been able to uncover for our readers:
Iginla to Leafs for Steen: Details to follow, in the finest style of all the best media sources. Note that Colaiacovo wasn't included in this swap - he and Tlusty are to be packaged together for Phaneuf. Local Leafs sources claim that Calgary is giving them the shaft on this one - nobody Facebooks quite like T-Lusty.
There is also a straight-up offer for Kipper - this would involve Raycroft, one for one. Of course, Calgary is a clear winner in this one. After all, which one of these two guys has a Calder? Huh? That's what I'm talking about.
Oh, Montreal: Word is (and we're really about the last people to comment on this) that Montreal is interested in some local boys to freshen up the look of their team. Did I say "local?" Did I mention "looks?"
That's right. Montreal has offered Calgary a pair of Ray-bans in return for Matthew Lombardi. Darryl Sutter has not yet commented on this offer, but has been heard musing about whether the new shades would go with the cowboy hat. Jury is out on this one.
There's another local boy Montreal's interested in, as we all know. Alex Tanguay has attracted an amount of interest so intense Lombardi has been giving him pouty resentful looks this week. While Michael Ryder is the name most mentioned in combination with this, we have one Ryder already, and he's broken. Citing a mistrust of the manufacturer, Sutter has offered to package five first-round picks AND Tanguay, all in exchange for Carey Price's sweaty jockstrap. A whiff of that, and our boys will be ready to go all the way.
The Great Blue North: Edmonton has been looking for a stay-at-home kind of player (literally, they're looking for a guy who wouldn't leave the city), and everybody knows Regehr is THE stay at home man. Plus, it would signficantly reduce the amount of wear and tear on Ales Hemsky. The Oil, unbelievably, have offered quite generously, the rights to negotiate with one Chris Lauren Pronger, and a bag of pucks. And who can resist a steal like that?
This just in: Tampa has been busy tonight, and upon hearing about negotiations for Regehr's services, offered Calgary instead the bloody towel that staunched Dan Boyle's bizarre cut to the wrist earlier this year. Citing the tight timeline of the remaining season, and the rather difficult quarantine requirements for biological materials going across the border, Tampa was politely rebuffed. Unless they would like, publicly, to admit that goal in Game 6 was IN.
On the home front: Much impressed by his strong play since leaving the embrace of the press box (did we not tell you???), the Flames organization has today signed Marcus Nilson to a contract extension. The terms of the deal are undisclosed, but it is understood that #26 will get to cherrypick from amongst the local virgins offered annually to Dion Phaneuf as part of his contract extension. Er. So to speak.
And finally, a trade the Flames win: Our blogosphere comrades have much lamented this season that Eric Godard is kind of useless. Kind of really useless. Well, for a limited time only, we can swap him for an impact player. From Phoenix, no less. That's right! Godard will be shipped out to sunny Arizona, in a precedent-setting swap for SHAQUILLE O'NEAL. I don't think there's been a bigger impact player on the block this season. There is some risk involved on the Flames' front... if Godard is suspended by the NBA for any reason between now and playoff time, we have to take him back.
And actually, I take it all back. What's wrong with a nice quiet trade deadline?
Nicely done, Leanne. Your prediction was almost spot on, but you were off-by-one^H^H^H^HSegmentation fault (core dumped).
(I make no apologies for this post, this team deserves it tonight).
Flames not playing games watch: We're about halfway through our eight day break. Just DYING of boredom here (if not for things like school and work and getting on with our actual lives, such as the all-weekend Lost marathon, and watching foreign movies only two other people have heard of...)
So we did some looking about the intarweb, and have come up with some things by which you can entertain yourself. But! Don't forget the AllStar game!
(Now that we've pimped the game for Versus, our mugs are in the mail, right? Right?)
What else can we do? There's video fun, from MG and the ole CBC.
And speaking of video fun, and the CBC, if you haven't amused yourself enough, check out this handy dandy time-waster. I've never been so glad somebody has used my tax dollars to harness the power of Web 2.0. See?
Wednesday cannot come soon enough.
Apparently so. Who knew?
Kudos to Mark Giordano and Hnat Domenichelli for winning that other Christmastime tourney.
We'll keep it short today. Boo Canucks, go Flames. Let's see the team play a full 60 minutes without falling asleep on their feet, and maybe let's slip Luongo some tainted eggnog. It's getting past the best before date of that stuff, y'know.
49-1 Calgary (originally it was going to be an aping of MG's infamous 4-1 prediction, then my fingers slipped reaching for the hyphen. And why the hell shouldn't I leave it that way? What? Oh. Happy thoughts! And Happy New Year! )
I can't resist posting a link to this blog entry about Ovechkin's recent terrorizing of Washington DC on a Segway:
They went down 14th Street, over Pennsylvania Avenue, around the tourists, past the souvenir vendors, with a brief stop by the anti-nuclear protester in front of the White House, who gave her spiel to Ovechkin.
"I'm from Russia," he said. "So, well, have fun."
"No, you have fun," she said, adding something about saving humanity.
"I don't have any money," he said.
"She said 'humanity,' " Green said.
"What does it mean," Ovechkin said.
Ovechkin was easily the loudest Segway rider. He rode the thing backward until it started making grinding noises; "when it makes that noise it's telling you it's not happy," one of the guides told him. He loudly shouted out "anybody wanna ride with us????" to a crowd waiting at a bus stop. He said "Whooooo hooooo" and variations thereof maybe 50 or 60 times. He rocked back and forth incessantly when we stopped to regroup. He yelped "Let's Go Caps" at random businessmen. He attempted to ride without the use of his hands, wrapping his legs around the steering column.
Not to steal Dave or MG or Duncan's thunder, but are you guys really serious? All those draft picks and the big pile of cash for Dustin Penner? After all the other crazy attempted signings and things?
I'm sure the hugs and kisses from Brian Burke over your latest will make it all better.
Best. Summer. Ever.
Love,
Not (really) a hater.
PS. Dave may never take another vacation in the summer, the way this week has gone.
Yo! Luongo! Your name is now Dan Spence
Sorry WI, that your new boys didn't make it. Who knew?
Goddammit San Jose, what do I have to give you to buy me a little revenge?
Parliament, you suck. You wouldn't need to do an about face if you just watched hockey at the bar like the rest of us.
Oh, just fire him already. I need to get on with my summer
Playoffs: lovin' it. How many good series have there been?
It's all on Ottawa now. No choking please, I need to recertify before I can give anyone the Heimlich again.
Phaneuf. And Weber. Drool. Or. Quake.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the opinion of an online acquaintance of mine. Disclaimers: He is a life-long Maple Leafs fan and currently lives in Hong Kong and has not seen the vast majority of hockey taking place this year, especially Flames games (who he hates), but still makes "authoritative comments" based on the premise that he plays in a rec league in HK.
The problem isn't the Flames coach. There's a lack of leadership in the ice. Players aren't stepping up their game to the playoff level in general and to fill the void left by injuries. With Regehr injured, there's a massive gap on the blue line and Wings are exploiting it.So the Flames problems are more about lack of leadership, heart, grit, depth and talent (compared to the Wings).
The only hope the Flames have is that their fans can give them a boost to at least give them a fighting chance against the Wings. I doubt it will be enough.
Your idiot blogger says the Flames has lots of leaders, and then says the team is rudderless. Maybe that's cause none of the "leaders" are leading, eh. If Playfair isn't organizing the team, then why don't the "leaders" step in and lead.
Your idiot blogger talks about Tanguay having playoff experience, but anyone who does playoff pools knows he rarely performs well in the post-season. He had one good playoff run years ago. And Yelle, he's a great checker, can lead by example, but a leader who can turn a team around... yeah, right.
What really shocks me is that you're a Flames fan, but don't know that Regehr didn't play the first game because of injuries and was playing injured in the second game. His injury was so bad that he had to sit out the last period. If you know anything about playoff hockey then you would know a guy like Regehr doesn't stop playing unless the injury was really bad.
And as a Flames fan, you should know that last year, Regehr and Leopold were the pair that shut down the other team's top lines. This year, the Flames have struggled to find a d-man who can work well with Regehr. With Leopold traded and Regehr injured, there's a massive Hole in the flames blue line corp.
How can you not know this? How can you say there is no massive gap?
Apparently the Flames didn't play tonight. Let's not even discuss it. The NHL has canceled the first game, so it's now a six game series! Go Flames! (Leanne left me a voicemail telling me to not watch the game I recorded, under any circumstances. Thank you!)
I had an interesting time at the Jays game today. Not because of the baseball, which was boring, but the fans. There were a couple guys in Sens jerseys at the game. Drunken Leafs fans yelled obscenities at them that made no sense ("You ****ers have never made it past the first round!" etc). They got ejected.
Another rowdy Detroit Tigers fan was ejected too, for being a douche.
But the best part? Matt Stajan, Kyle Wellwood, Colaiacovo, and Wisniewski were sitting some 10 rows infront of me, right in the first row. They threw the first pitch, too.
One two occasions, drunken fans came down and started verbally assaulting all of the Leafs players for everything under the sun. Eventually the cops came and dragged them away -- but one of the guys was so drunk he started fighting the cop. Was hilarious to see the old men security guards try to help. Lots of cheering ensued.
Later on in the game, I'm at the pisser, I zip up, and Kyle Wellwood is right behind me and takes my urinal. Colaiacovo was in line behind him.
Guys seemed really nice, despite the team they play for. Not that I talked to them or anything (the bathroom is a really bad place for that), but how many people can say they snuck off to the bathrooms with the young Leafs players? Mwahaha.
By the way, I'm totally regretting buying Sunday's game tickets...
Not them, but me.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring. The battered red phone hidden in the corner was definitely getting more strident.
The dressing room was dead silent, except for a muttered, "Oh, shit."
Finally, the coach picked up the phone. "Hello?"
The voice on the other end was female. And not amused. "Jimmy."
"Yes?"
"You know who this is, right?"
"Yes?"
"That's right. I used this to bawl Darryl out last year."
"Ooooh. I remember."
"I got results, didn't I?"
"That you did." Then a whisper. "Dear mother of God help me."
"Well. You're lucky. I'm too damn tired to bawl you out right now." A pause. "BUT."
"Yes?"
"You're out of excuses. Not against this team, not with what you have on the line. Are we clear?"
"Yes."
"Good. Now, shut up, and find a tie that doesn't hurt my eyes so much. And gather the boys 'round the line."
"..."
"GUYS!"
"Uhhh..."
"Stop that. Now. You don't want me to force you to go golfing in April. You really don't. What have I been telling you to do all year?"
"Umm..."
"No."
"Uhhh..."
"Keep trying harder!"
A voice pipes up. "You keep on telling us to have no mercy on the other team, to show some killer instinct, and to stomp on them. Preferably on the jugular."
"DING! Somebody give that guy a prize! That said, Jarome, next time I don't want to hear you smile when you say that. You don't have a sense of humour till you can show me Oilers a la roadkill. Got that?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Trust me on this. Only thing worse this time of year than a tee time is a flight to Europe. A very long, contemplative flight where you get to think about all the screwups this season."
"God, no."
"So you don't want that to happen, you kill off the Avs with this next game, ok?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"And what about the rest of you boys? Jarome was off to a good start last game, where the hell were the rest of you?"
"YES, MA'AM!"
"Happy Easter, by the way. Just don't forget we're celebrating the anniversary of somebody getting nailed up on a cross. Capiche?"
Click.
Dead silence in the room. Just the sound of guys gulping. Hard.
And, here's a great idea for a drinking game when watching a Canucks game with colour by Drew Remenda: Every time he says "slap pass", take a drink. Everyone would be smashed by the end of the 1st. God, I hate him. I hate him.
I hate him, almost as much as I hate Minnesota.
Thought I'd run away from our Flames for good, hey? It's been a bit busy between work and other things, but I haven't gone away. I haven't done a lot of useful analysis lately... maybe my play by play will be better.
11:09 PM I believe Dave has already done the post game. That will be all. Thanks for hanging out, everyone. We'll have to do it again sometime.
11:05 PM Bah. They bag an empty netter. Physicality ensues. Well...I think that's it kids....
11:02 PM Woo! The big line. 3-2, finally.
11:01 PM I didn't even have time to pick up the needles again. Another PP. I will give Dallas this - it's not as if they're trying hard to run away with this game.
10:57 PM No dice.
10:53 PM P2tog without slipping sts off needle, then K2tog over same sts...P2to...
Oh. We're on the PP again.
10:51 PM Oh, Iggy. Just shoot it. Like Ritchie just did.
10:47 PM Hagman lamed by a lousy shot block. Good pressure this PP. No dice yet. This is definitely a better effort tonight by the guys Who Were Named, but... well. We will see.
Stupid broken sticks. Susan.
10:45 PM Ha! Boucher off to the box, after some decent pressure by the boys. Am I the only one who thinks, "Chuckwagon driver" when I hear "Kelly Sutherland?"
10:44 PM Fantastic chance by Huselius. No dice. I swear I heard "Marvin Turco."
10:40 PM Noodles makes a key save on a post-PP break. PK wasn't too shoddy, but was two minutes we couldn't spend trying to score.
10:37 PM Primeau again. This is the same script we saw last night, but with more emotion.
10:32 PM Modano's back. Our Davey loses his assist, which goes to Hammer.
10:23 PM 2nd intermission, Out of Town Scoreboard edition It's a good night for the NHL. So far the lowest announced attendance is 15,091 at TD Banknorth Garden. Callups: D. Fata? Is that any relation to that prime ex-Flames prospect, Rico? And much like back in the days of Joe Who, are sportswriters 'round the league going to have to learn how to spell Dubielewicz on a regular basis?
Oh god, I think they're brothers.
10:18 PM No word from the dressing room about Regehr. We'll be lucky if they'll acknowledge that he's injured at all, much like Conroy or Warrener.
10:13 PM Hm. This doesn't work when they keep on shooting it down the ice, does it? Buzz.
10:11 PM Oooo! PP! Say what you will, it's been a good two days for that. Time to pimp the Club Card for Safeway(TM) for Score & Win (TM)
10:08 PM Guess who's on in the Hockey Update by Japanese Village(TM)? None other than Darryl Reaugh...Play resumes. Kipper hasn't traded ballcap for mask, so Noodles must be either ok, or in his playing-with-broken-sternum mode. Oh, don't start with the Dallas-leading-after-two-periods-with-two-goals-stats.
Happy thoughts!
Still no Regehr.
10:06 PM Not good. That last goal seems to have shifted the momentum of the game a bit. Noodles gets hit by a Boucher shot. Mask is off. Uh-oh.
10:02 PM I knew that was going to happen as soon as I hit Ctrl-S on my last entry. 3-1 Dallas. Oh, right! Happy thoughts! Um. Ovechkin finally puts one behind a goalie in a shootout? I check the scoresheet. Zubov is making me feel unclean. But. He is generating happy thoughts.
10:00 PM What do you think? Primeau this time. With Modano's bell rung, and a good period to this point, we better see some stepping up and the tightest PK ever.
9:56 PM Modano gets Phaneufed. He's down for the count. I wanna see this on the highlights with my morning cereal. HG's boy is clearly back, much abashed for his off-ice behaviour, and struggling to make amends...
9:52 PM Maher is clearly unused to the idea of Noodles playing. More good chances for our boys. They would be so good if they played like this all the time...
9:49 PM Iggy gets a fantastic chance off a blocked shot then running it in on a breakaway. Only a chance though. Damn you, Marty!
9:46 PM It sounds like it's been a good couple of shifts...except that the puck's been our zone an awful lot. Peter Maher can't keep his Finns straight. Apparently Jussi Markaanen is playing this one.
9:42 PM About not getting enough time with the man advantage... Lombardi! 2-1. Woot! From Moss and Tanguay.
9:39 PM Dammit, can't Edmonton do anything right? PP sounds ok to me. We just don't get enough time with the man advantage ;)
9:34 PM Here we go again... the radio guys seem to have been reading more positives out of Perry Berezan's spiel than I did. Modano goes to the box.
9:28 PM Perry Berezan thinks the guys have to have emotion in their bellies, like teenaged la-la-la-la-I-don't-waanna-hear-you emo kids. But with discipline!
9:18 PM Not much time in the first period thank goodness. New offensive style or not, did anybody imagine Chris Clark would bag a hat trick before anyone playing for Calgary?
9:13 PM Way to end the PP. Hamrlik gets some time off. Our guys seem pretty out of control tonight. Should I be glad I can't hear all the "combustible," "explosive," "burnout" type puns on TV right now?
9:09 PM Oh. We get to go on the PP now. How refreshing. It would have been nice if the Stars hadn't got the first chance after the penalty started. And not that we'd use him on the PP, but still no Regehr.
9:05 PM Sigh. Let's see how we play even strength, hey? Eventually? Stars ahead 2-0. Still on PP. Must not get tea stains on baby blanket in-progress.
9:02 PM Another minor. Noodles, for unsportsmanlike?
9:00 PM Hey Dave: "Bringing the only guy you know with louder lungs than you? Priceless." Eh. EH?? Man, I love having all those repetitive radio commercials... Regehr is a bit shaken up apparently. Woo! Susan can play more minutes! Woo!
8:56 PM, II I take my last comment back. Modano is one step closer to passing Joey Mullen.
8:56 PM Looks like the PK is holding together. But could we stop taking penalties? Ack ack ack...
8:51 PM Aw, Matt from BofA is doing a liveblog too? This groupthink thing is ridiculous. I swear I decided to do this spontaneously, in a grumpy-no-life-but-hockey mood.
8:46 PM PK actually came through, we're still going offside, and I've decided there's no point in tracking who's playing with who tonight. If I hadn't picked up Zubov for one of my fantasy teams, I'd be very mad at him.
8:41 PM 41 seconds into the game, and Stuart draws one for highsticking. Way to start things on a good note. Also, why the hell am I doing this working just off the radio?
8:38 PM Rough flight, eh, boys? No Hale, no Yelle, no Conroy, no Warrener. Noodles, no Kipper. Let's see what happens. I'm not taking it as a good sign that my not-typing project is done in colours of white, and green, and yellow.
For what it's worth, there were some bright spots last night. The PP, Lombardi, Moss, and Giordano, namely. It wasn't a pretty game. I don't have much else to say that hasn't already been said and won't drag us through the same old, same old again. Say, aren't we glad this isn't 2002?
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